What would happen if…
Sometimes I like to type the beginning of a question into Google and see how it suggests to complete it. Since these suggestions are based on popular search terms, it’s kind of a good indicator of what the world is interested in. Tonight, I typed in “What would happen if…” and here’s what I got:
1. What would happen if a girl took viagra?
2. What would happen if the earth stopped spinning?
3. What would happen if there was no moon?
4. What would happen if yellowstone erupted?
5. What would happen if the sun exploded?
6. What would happen if the sun went out?
8. What would happen if an asteroid hit earth?
6. What would happen if a woman took viagra?
7. What would happen if the moon was destroyed?
A couple observations. First, the obvious one: humans are as curious about chicks on viagra as they are about the sun ceasing to exist. A side note there…if it were only men looking for info about chicks on viagra, it probably wouldn’t rank as highly as these other gender neutral queries which leads me to believe that women are just as curious about chicks on viagra as men are.
Something about the phrasing of “What would happen if there was no moon?” is hilarious. What would happen if…in the future…the moon never existed.
I didn’t even know an eruption of Yellowstone was possible so that was quite a shock. Following that query led me to this answer on Yahoo Answers (voted best answer by the way):
“Well, that would be the biggest and the worst natural disaster in the history of mankind. It would surely wipe out many people (if proper evacuation would not be implemented) and it would surely block out the sun’s rays, possibly reducing the earth’s temperature by a few degrees. In line with the latter would be the devastation of crops, possibly worldwide, which would lead to starvation especially to those poor countries.
Huge amounts of volcanic debris would also cover the surrounding region of Yellowstone and the ash would cover huge areas, possibly the whole of US.
All of these might trigger a global population bottleneck (great reduce of world population) due to the great climate change produced, lack of food, and other related events, just like what happened during the eruption of Lake Toba in Indonesia, thousands of years ago (Yellowstone is mostly classified as a supervolcano, just like Lake Toba).” – ben
Sounds like ben really knows his stuff (creepily)!
Now what would happen if JELLYSTONE erupted? Pickanick baskets and neck kerchiefs everywhere!
My 20s in Music, Part 2
2001
Moment – Songs for the Self-Destructive
Circa 2001. Doing the Southeastern Massachusetts Pop-Punk / Emo Circuit thing with my band Greenwell. Boston was the big bad city where all the cool shit was really happening and we were on the outside looking in. Moment were the icons of the scene. An enigmatic and slightly psychotic singer, two excellent guitar players one of whom was doing double-duty in There Were Wires (icons in their own right), a soon-to-be legendary drummer and an insane and mysterious Russian on bass. Needless to say, we worshipped them.
Moment and this record are usually described as “pop-punk”. This always pissed me off because, while accurate, the term failed to capture what the band was about. Pop-punk riffs and rhythms and chugs form the tiles from which the band constructs elaborate and complex, albeit, brief mosaics. The average song on this record is under three minutes and is composed of maybe eight distinct movements. Themes are revisited but rarely does a traditional verse-chorus pattern emerge. Not exactly Blink 182.
Singer Jon Howard’s lyrics felt personal and intimate and immediate, as if the events he was writing about were transpiring as he transcribed them. He painted a picture of a dark scenester world full of back stabbers and heart breakers and botched operations and poverty: “FUCK this is for everyone who handles more money in a day than their last months pay combined”. He portrayed being in a rock band as a blue collar job: “I don’t see most bands working as hard as they should be. Fucking cowards! Leave this shit to me!” The words felt stream-of-concious but were eminently sing-alongwithable. They were honest but never sentimental. Dramatic but rarely melodramatic. Most of all, they created a mystique around this man and this band and this city that I relive everytime I hear this record.
Other Contenders:
2001 was a very big year for records and I had a hard time choosing my favorite. Here are some of the others on the short list.
Saves the Day - Stay What You Are
This is the masterpiece from one of my favorite bands of all time and also the record that taught my brother how to play bass. The “the nightingales are singing out” part of Nightingale is some of my favorite lyrical imagery and Firefly might be my favorite STD song.
Thursday - Full Collapse
My favorite record to crank at 3 AM until the neighbors shut the power down.
Honorable Mention:
Radiohead – Amnesiac, The Strokes – This Is It, Bjork – Vespertine